urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cactusforpants People of Art Ichigiku Hanako 2009-10-12T03:06:00Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cactusforpants:226571 2009-10-12T03:06:00Z 2009-10-12T03:06:00Z oh yeah i forgot<br /><br /><br />there was a thing on national geographic about 'superhumans' - autistic savants, etc. and you know one of the things they listed as a 'superhuman' power? the woman who could 'so incredibly' taste and see music. they're doing testing on her and they're like OMG SHE'S ONE OF THE 113 SYNAESTHETICS IN THE WORLD.<br /><br /><br />it pisses me off that they didn't say 113 RECORDED AND STUDIED synaesthetics, because there are obviously so many more, but it was soooo cool that they raved about it like it was a superpower.<br /><br />and i've been asking people since 1st grade whether the number 8 or the emotion of sadness has physical qualities in an alternate dimension - color, texture, etc. <br /><br /><br />i have superpowers. hahahahahhaa. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cactusforpants:226517 2009-10-12T02:45:36Z 2009-10-12T02:45:36Z Ruff Ryderz - World War III i always wait like a year between posts.<br /><br /><br />this is out of sheer boredom and cleanup mode.<br /><br /><br />i found this shit ScarGuard MD at CVS for like $30 and it works like crazy awesome. so for anyone who has crazy bitch scars on their arms like i do, this shit is worth shelling out some cash for. it dries weird and flakes/peels like shit, and smells awful, but EVERY TIME i put it on, after 12 hours they're a little less noticable. considering i was gonna ask my mom for scar surgery for christmas, this is a nice break.<br /><br /><br />so um. anyone i only talk to on here (namely KAT UM HELLO).. i'm alive. and stuff.<br /><br /><br /><br />and i'm learning russian again and have something resembling a normal family. strange.<br /><br />STILL havent gotten my degree. doesn't seem to make a difference nowadays anyway.<br /><br /><br />-regina (the artist formerly known as regi)<br /><br /><br />btw we're all gonna die in wwiii cause it's gonna be nuclear urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cactusforpants:226051 2008-12-12T05:16:41Z 2008-12-12T05:16:41Z i am back! sort of.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />NEWS<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />went to rehab<br />no more dan<br />feeling really good. and clean.<br />got my 60 days of sobriety chip at aa today. it felt good.<br /><br />i'm sorry to everyone i fucked over while i was all coked up and drunk. god i was useless. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cactusforpants:226034 2008-08-14T02:53:41Z 2008-08-14T02:53:41Z still in love with her i guess<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />you know for someone who can't love, i certainly have issues getting over people<br /><br />what did i do to hurt her? i don't understand. <br />i understand that she's too cool for me. but i don't understand what i did to hurt her. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cactusforpants:225714 2008-07-17T21:34:41Z 2008-07-17T21:34:41Z y'know, this whole 'life' thing is actually starting to grow on me urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cactusforpants:225351 2008-07-17T01:35:39Z 2008-07-17T01:36:21Z i really, really, really, really wanna know where i come from<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />this is so stupid to say but i'm not sure i'll ever be able to watch futurama without my throat tightening<br />what spurred the thought was seeing that little bit in the episode where leela finds her parents - this little montage involving them just invisibly butting in throughout her life, where she thinks they're dead..<br /><br /><br />i stood up and changed the channel (thanks, lack of AA batteries for the remote) and tried to be strong and just crossed my arms... but then the tears started and i just kinda walked around a bit but then fell against my bedroom's doorframe and cried a bit. i only let out the ones i couldn't hold in. i have to be strong about it.<br /><br />but the thought as i stared straight ahead still echoes so loudly in my brain. <i> where are you guys?</i><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />this gaping hole is so much more painful and unique and lonely than any biologically-situated child can understand. so many facts and lack thereof and thoughts. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><i>where are you guys?</i> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cactusforpants:225042 2008-07-11T21:40:40Z 2008-07-11T21:40:40Z i wonder if obama is a freemason! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cactusforpants:224858 2008-07-11T21:24:13Z 2008-07-11T21:24:13Z "what does that give you? ....an extraordinary nut snack"<br /><br /><br />and the dude really didn't pronounce the n<br /><br /><br />i can't remmeber who made the commercial because i'm pretty much on the flooor laughing urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cactusforpants:224359 2008-06-27T14:15:54Z 2008-06-27T14:15:54Z anyone in worcester looking for an apartment?...<br /><br /><br /><br />i had no idea dan was able to be such a fucker<br /><br />and now i'm totally screwed and need to find new roomies because he decided the apartment and rent should suddenly be my responsibility and that he wanted to move out.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />FUCK<br /><br />wtf. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cactusforpants:224103 2008-06-27T03:21:24Z 2008-06-27T03:21:24Z as minh was persistently tipping over the trash can<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />it's like owning a ferret, quite exactly urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cactusforpants:223873 2008-06-27T03:19:10Z 2008-06-27T03:19:10Z Loreena McKennitt - Caravanserai jerry falwell is finally dead!!! :D<br /><br /><br />well, balance out.. carlin and falwell... <br /><br /><br />even so<br /><br /><br />in other news, things are rocky but weird and good and bad<br />the near future is definitely going to be interesting.<br /><br /><br /><br />in other news<br /><br /><img src="http://www.spunge.org/~kalypso/minh/minhface.jpg"><br />the nearly two-month-old kitten is in EVERYTHING and of course needs to assist me with every daily task, no matter how insignificant<br /><br /><br />welp urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cactusforpants:223506 2008-06-15T22:44:36Z 2008-06-15T22:44:36Z i am thrilled and i want to sob tears of joy and scream in exaltation atop a mountain urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cactusforpants:223252 2008-06-15T05:11:42Z 2008-06-15T05:11:42Z Dippa Satrang - Kaalja apparently i'm still stuck in high school??<br /><br /><br /><br />anyway, emily (who i never talk to enough, btw, HI) had this kinda cool 'i'm bored' survey that i decided to do.<br /><br /><a name="cutid1"></a><br />Do you think the last person you kissed is nice?<br />he's always nice to me even when I am being mean [had to keep the same answer]<br /><br />Kissed someone in a pick up?<br />nope<br /><br />What's irritating you right now?<br />absence of instability, boys<br /><br />Do you know your ex's birthday?<br />maybe? may 14th or 17th, prolly 14th<br /><br />Is this year the best year of your life?<br />DEFINITELY not.<br /><br />Is it easier to forgive or forget?<br />forgive, but that might just be me and my genetic inability to plant grudges<br /><br /><br />Do you give out second chances too easily?<br />Probably.<br /><br /><br />Would you live with someone without marrying them?<br />Doing it now<br /><br />Have you ever shaved in the kitchen sink?<br />Legs/pits/pubes in the kitchen sink would be kinda stupid. guy-oriented question?<br /><br />Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?<br />who hasn't?<br /><br /><br />How many boyfriends/girlfriends have told you they love you?<br />ah fuck i have no clue. eight??<br /><br />Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry?<br />ugh, frequently<br /><br />Have you ever been cheated on?<br />i think so??? it's never been admitted.<br /><br /><br />Have you ever broken someone's heart?<br />i feel like anyone worth anything has...<br /><br /><br />Talk to your ex's?<br />some. others i want to maul.<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you dated people who weren't good to you?<br />god of course<br /><br /><br /><br />Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?<br />maybe? if it's the true SECOND, then fine, but if second means 'one more in addition to the 5986456 they already got and wasted,' maybe it's up for debate.<br /><br /><br /><br />Believe in love at first sight?<br />love, no. very strong whatevers, yeah, sure<br /><br /><br />Ever liked someone else's boyfriend or girlfriend?<br />of course..<br /><br /><br />Is heartbreak really as bad as it sounds?<br />most definitely.<br /><br />Are you looking for a boyfriend or girlfriend?<br />nope<br /><br />How has this past week been for you?<br />CONFUSING and exhilarating.<br /><br /><br />Who was the last person you texted?<br />Greg<br /><br />Last person of the opposite sex to give you a hug?<br />Dan<br /><br /><br />Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?<br />sort of. i'll probably believe that until we have the technology to figure out what karma actually is, scientifically<br /><br />First person under ' J' on your cell phone?<br />Jamie Mitchell<br /><br />Do you hate that person?<br />good lord no<br /><br />How many and what kind of animals are in your house?<br />4 dogs, 2 cats and 2 fish. more cats soon, probably<br /><br />Who are you disappointed in right now?<br />myself<br /><br />When was the last time something bothered you?<br />right now, that last question<br /><br />What's the most interesting thing that happened to you today?<br />I entertained people?<br /><br />Would you ever date a friend's ex?<br />done it before, would most likely consult said ex beforehand<br /><br />Whats the most important thing in a relationship in your opinion?<br />honestly? sex<br /><br /><br /><br />If your best friend liked your last ex, what would you do?<br />she went out with him, so i know. uh.. flip out?<br /><br /><br />Are you the type that would rather stay at other peoples houses or have them at yours?<br />almost equal, but i'm a hostess by nature so i guess the latter<br /><br />Do tattoos and piercings excite you?<br />not really EXCITE. i have a nose, two in each ear, had a tongue, and have a tattoo on my back. i never got the blank-canvas addiction.<br /><br />Have you ever kissed someone and never saw them again?<br />yep<br /><br />Do you know anyone whose name starts with a Z?<br />this kid Zhi i used to know. and apparently my mom has a friend named Zelda.<br /><br />Is there a reason for your myspace song?<br />uh.. it's cool? i haven't used myspace in years though and the song isn't on there anymore. so it doesn't matter?<br /><br />Who was the last person to smoke a cigarette in your presence?<br />dan kinklahhh!<br /><br />I'll bet you're missing someone right now?<br />...yep<br /><br />When was your last encounter with the police?<br />when i bumped into a car that was parked halfway into the Honey Farms driveway<br /><br />Who would you like to be friends with again?<br />sarah, glynnis, eli, greg<br /><br />Do you ever dance even if there's no music playing?<br />i do the occasional doot-doot<br /><br />What can put you in a good mood?<br />sex, music, drawing, driving, eating, cooking, sewing, working out, chilling with dogs, smoking, having a beer, teaching someone some German (or Spanish.. or Chinese.. or Russian... or Esperanto..)<br /><br /><br /><br />Have you kissed in the rain?:<br />yes (any hopeless romantic will search for the opportunity)<br /><br /><br /><br />Is there anyone that you care more about than yourself?<br />nope. wonder if that will ever change<br /><br /><br /><br />What do you miss about your past?<br />being able to say anything you want and not only get away with it, but receive positive feedback.. because kids really DO say the damndest things...<br /><br /><br /><br />Is there something you wish you could tell someone but you cant?<br />egh probably a whole laundry list, which i guess means a yes<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />i think the muse is waking up<br />it's also summer and i'm away from my parents<br /><br /><br /><br />and there's SO much bad shit going on in my life but i don't really care. it's a different kind of bad - i have so much shit to take care of, but i have to chip away at it. not like OMG OVERWHELMING LIFE SUCKS.. <br /><br /><br />maybe it's the medication? i'm confused as to how one tiny pill a day can change.. literally.. my universe.<br />heh<br /><br /><br /><br />also i dunno why it's fair that women never get labeled perverts if they're creepyhorny. so many lecherous old (and young) men get these negative titles for REALLY liking pussy - but a girl that REALLY likes the cock is either just a plain old slut, or a gift from God.<br /><br />why am i never called a perv? i mean of course i'm not complaining, i just don't think it's fair that the guy next to me who undresses people with his eyes the same way i do.. could be arrested for saying one word too much.<br /><br /><br />ich vermisse deutschland urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cactusforpants:223110 2008-06-13T08:12:52Z 2008-06-13T09:47:35Z Smokey Joe's Cafe - Teach Me How To Shimmy <img src="http://bubblegumheroes.com/files/guestcomic1.jpg"><br /><br /><br /><br />found this guestcomic i did for a friend of mine's webcomic. hahah it's like 2 years old but i forgot how much i liked it. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br />maybe later on i'll post my paper... 'how the disposable razor changed everything...' but everyone's sick of boring anti-america crap. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cactusforpants:222938 2008-06-13T04:01:54Z 2008-06-13T04:01:54Z i want to try to think of time in a different way.<br /><br /><br /><br />i also want to allow myself to create crap when i create.<br />an awesome idea was suggested to me that i have yet to try:<br /><br /><br />'sit down and say.. 'hey, i'm gonna make a piece of crap.' think of something crappy. then start drawing, writing, whatever. keep at it and eventually your muse will start getting annoyed.. nudge you and finally say 'hey, you're doing it wrong, lemme take care of it.' so you're like whoa, i was trying to create crap!... and if you DO create crap.. hey, you succeeded in your efforts.'<br /><br /><br />PERFECT for my mindset. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br />things are getting better, which is why i haven't posted, really<br /><br /><br />i only post when i'm the most upset or confused, usually. or when i have an insane realization, so... i dunno, i just bet if you met 98% of LJers in real life they'd be hardly whiny at all.<br /><br /><br />...okay more like 58% but whateverrrrrr urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cactusforpants:222659 2008-05-30T09:48:28Z 2008-05-30T09:48:28Z bored at 5 am leads to me stealing things from people<br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.meez.com/confuciankoala" title="Meez 3D avatars and free games."><img src="http://images.meez.com/user/5/2/4/0/8/3/6/5240836_bodyshot_300x400.gif" alt="Meez 3D avatar avatars games" border="0" /></a> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cactusforpants:222332 2008-05-30T07:26:08Z 2008-05-30T07:26:08Z a weird.... ponderfart...<br /><br />(i have a strange ability: being aware that my suspicions might be totally bogus)<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />what if plants and machines and stuff have some kind of consciousness?<br /><br /><br />i can totally see, if the human race survives, plant rights advocates groups. because there's definitely some communication that just isn't the type we use.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />maybe in the afterlife we have a choice to relive a life at some really cool point in life if we've earned it. maybe this is just an awesome time in human history and i did something awesome in past lives, or maybe just had the choice, like in Our Town... iono<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />la la la la la urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cactusforpants:221958 2008-05-02T18:18:11Z 2008-05-02T18:18:11Z i don't want anyone to cry urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cactusforpants:221781 2008-04-22T08:03:50Z 2008-04-22T08:03:50Z why do i keep getting drawn to these losers? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cactusforpants:221579 2008-04-17T23:24:04Z 2008-04-17T23:24:04Z nope! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cactusforpants:221200 2008-04-15T20:41:13Z 2008-04-15T20:41:13Z man what a mindfuck<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />my world just got turned upside down and i dunno which way is right or left or what action to take with who.<br /><br /><br /><br />should i distance myself from everyone to risk hurting people and myself? should i reach out to people but try to learn limits AS i do it, instead of BEFORE?<br /><br /><br /><br />i miss dan but i want to be fair to him.<br /><br /><br />trevor likes me more than i thought he did, apparently. and he reads this. and he should stop reading right now even though i know he won't. i want to be something special in his eyes, i guess. and maybe we'd help each other tidy up with the traits we want to flush out of our systems. slowly. <br /><br /><br />and it's weird because i can't tell whether trevor has totally resurrected my hope, or whether he's like totally killed it. it's so weird. maybe he's done both. <br /><br /><br /><br />and dan.<br />the sweet, kind, patient teddybear who may be learning the things i wanted him to learn. with my luck he'll be exactly the guy he'd been trying to be, and the one i dumped him because i thought he couldn't be, in about four months. and he won't want to take me back.<br /><br />if he's the type of guy i want, then he'll stand his ground enough not to take me back after the shit i've done to him. another mindfuck.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />i think i am literally unable to be single!!!!!!<br />how the hell do all you people do it?! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cactusforpants:221119 2008-04-15T19:22:45Z 2008-04-15T19:22:45Z the degree of attraction that existed for trevor upon first meeting him, i think, was a fatal sign.<br /><br />stopping it RIGHT here before anything gets any worse. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cactusforpants:220861 2008-04-15T00:57:11Z 2008-04-15T00:57:11Z still crickets in other news i keep getting random facebook messages from european dudes, especially german<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />an alex omogie sent me a message saying "Hi,re you an angle?"<br /><br />Am I an angle? Yes. I exist at precisely 43.2 degrees. I am acute. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />in even MORE other news..... my mother brought up the idea of me finishing my undergrad in germany. this means she would approve. and... this means... that i want to do it.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />surprisingly i would feel ready. of course i'd miss my american friends but i'd come back to visit, and... germany is just... is just germany. maybe it's genetics. but the biggest factor is that my personality - the bubbly random OMG goofy giggly extroverted factors, unafraid to show emotion - is admired there, rather than shunned, like here.<br /><br /><br />the european work ethic is so different from that of americans. by absolutely NO means am i calling them lazy... but... the pointless, futile competitive nature we have here isn't found over there. you aren't lazy if you need free time. <br /><br /><br />i wrote a paper for my english class called 'how the disposable razor changed everything.' i may post it.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />and one last thing before i attack the piano in hopes to get my skills back up to the level of that video....<br />does ANYONE KNOW ESPERANTO<br />i'm learning and need convo partners. :D urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cactusforpants:220627 2008-04-15T00:52:58Z 2008-04-15T00:52:58Z crickets <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoPBpOCr5bA">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoPBpOCr5bA</a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />the fact that this person is my friend gives me some hope in the world urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cactusforpants:220379 2008-04-11T22:54:55Z 2008-04-11T22:54:55Z trevor reminds me of..<br /><br /><br />a cross between...<br /><br /><br /><br />the good side of travis, the good side of b-rev, and mr. pitt.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />oh DEAR.